How to Deal with the Imposter Syndrome at Work & Life (Ep. 5.0)

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Hey folks, it's LJ your opinion, edit hosts for opine, but until put cost, put your well let's get into it. So welcome back, everyone. Welcome back to this fine day in the coronavirus. I hope you and your family are all well, huh? The imposter syndrome also known as the imposter experience, the imposter phenomenon or the imposter belief. Most of us have suffered this little bug in our system. In fact, no matter what job or public engagement that you've had to want to take in your life, I'm sure that your little monkey that we've spoken of in the last few pods has whispered in your mind something to get you to believe that you're a fraud, a huckster, a trickster in which you will be found out soon and ultimately that you are on a pasta. Let me give you one of the stockers examples of this playing out in 1938, John Steinbeck confessed in his diary after already gaining critical success.

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I'm not a writer I've been fooling myself and other people. So he is one of the most prominent American authors of such classics as the Crips, Ralph of my, some men, East of Eden. In fact, the grips of wrath was published one year later in 1939 and went on to win the Pulitzer prize in 1940 and then went on to sell over 14 million copies worldwide today. Oh, and he also won this little thing called the Nobel prize in literature in 1962, not bad for such an impostor. If this belief can effect a giant of literature like this, imagine what it is doing to me mortals in their own pursuits. So let's break it down and see if we can find out what's going on here and how we can overcome such a phenomenon. So coming up, I'm going to give you a brief outline of one. Why care two, what is it, three, how it can affect your life four, who can benefit and five tips and tricks to help manage that looming in pasta.

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Let me

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Start on a personal note. So I remember going to a BPS conference, that's a British psychological society conference to, to display a bit, a little bit of work that I had completed now while most of the work discussed was interesting and understandable on a general level. However, some of the speakers were so specific in their conversations that when standing around in groups afterwards, a lot of polite nodding and smiling was going on indicating that most of us had little idea what they were describing. I mean, we can understand on a general level, but the specifics we were in the weeds. So as social psychologists, plicated the personality Sykes for their view and the cognitive Sykes didn't speak to either the imposter phenomenon can occur not only due to inter departmental differences, but because on a more specific level on specific areas or heaven forbid interdiscipline differences like that is, you know, between say business or science or politics or between kind of biology of physics that armory that you and I might have with good knowledge in one area does not inoculate you from feeling silly and really feeling that you have no idea that what they're on about in others, hence imposter alert.

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So in science, the phrase I don't know is perfectly acceptable and often the jumping off point to further questions and research, something that all politicians around the world could learn at this moment. We're expected not to know otherwise. Why ask the question in the first place in that given the vast specialization needed to be an expert in anything. I mean, the minute you put a hundred scientists or any expert in that field in a room most may feel inadequate in the vast array of topics to discuss given their specificity of knowledge and the breadth of specialists, reading and training you would have to do even to get to the point of understanding the wider framework, their work fits in the whole. So it's no wonder it's confusing to outsiders. The inside game is a wash with individuals dealing with imposters. So from a different point of view, as a business consultant, I think you might be able to imagine that the first time that I went into a business to help out, which was in a completely different feel from my experience, I felt like a fraud. I mean, even after successfully completing my job and many other companies that I've helped over the years, I remember that feeling very well. It could have been debilitating, a feeling that stopped me in my tracks and stop me from continuing to have a successful career. Luckily, I picked up a few tips and tricks from articles, learned souls and mentors, which I'll share with you today.

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Number one, why care

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The PT of the imposter syndrome is that you vacillate between extreme egomania and a complete feeling of I'm a fraud. Oh my God, they're onto me. I'm a fraud. Just try to ride the egomania when it comes and enjoy it. And then slide through the idea of fraud. Tina Fey writer, actress, producer. So studies reflect that the imposter syndrome affects around 70% of people let that sink in for a moment. That's a lot of people who doubt their own abilities. Couple that with social media and you haven't toxic soup, there's not doing us any favors as we share mostly only our successes. So the data looks skewed. We all see people living some absurdly beautiful life, not always recognizing in the moment that it's highly curated. As we view the highlight reels of the success from strangers. There's a sense that they're the ones faking it all along where the imposters in a 20 study, the imposter syndrome was found to be the top fear of executives worldwide with 60% saying it negatively impacted their ability to lead confidently.

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Google even started tracking this phenomenon a number of years ago in their annual employee survey and found that around about 40% of Google employees show signs of the imposter syndrome. You know, those guys that are tested to the max to get into such an organization. So by their very employment status, showing that they are good at what they do even, they think they're imposters. The imposter syndrome is even more exasperated by this modern tech life that we live. I mean, once upon a time, humans learn slowly, you know, they joined a Gill, they spend years training, learning the ropes and then some more years of apprenticeships. And then you learn the business from an experience kind of master who taught you the business and who was already in the business for, you know, 20, 20, 30 years. So after 10 years of experience where you were allowed to kind of practice for, I don't know, another 10 to 30 years, uh, you knew you had the right tools and you'd pay your dues to join the club.

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You were now in the Guild, so to speak. And in many cultures, you know, and traditional professions, that may be still the case, but after kind of 20 to 30 years of work, you might become irrelevant because your old skills are obsolete. You know, your knowledge is outdated and, or maybe you're even too old for the job. So in the, in the modern world, reality changes much faster than this model can support. I mean, if you learn and train for three or four years at university, your knowledge is already obsolete. Even before you hit the market. Moreover, many areas of expertise are so new that you can't learn or train for them because you're the first person to do that job. So you need to constantly innovate to learn, to grow or else this wave of rapid depreciation will swell you. I mean, if you're proficient and really good at something today, the chances are that you'll be irrelevant in five years.

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So there are several upsides to this crazy race. I mean, you will never get bored. That's for sure you learn how to deal with uncertainty. Uh, you won't end up working many years for a job that you'll hate. Cause you'll have a lot of chance to change career paths several times in your lifetime. Something that's a little bit not so not so well known when your parents or grandparents go, why have you changed the job again? And your career can advance a lot faster. However, the specter of being an impostor may loom greatly as you feel like you're building your career on shifting sands.

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Number two, what is it? I have written 11 books, but each time I think, Oh, they're going to find out. Now I've run, came on everyone. And they're going to find me out. This is Nobel Laureate. Maya Angelou. Let me take you back. 42 years, the year is 1978. The imposter syndrome as it's commonly known was first coined by doctors, Pauline Rose Clance and Susan Em's and publish their work in psychotherapy theory, research and practice. Since that time, clowns has expressed that she prefers to call the impossible phenomenon or then pasta experience given it's sometimes pull appearance rather than thought of as a fixed, always on condition in all people. This way, it reflects that's such fears are extremely common and often transitory and reflect the natural vulnerability, uh, finding ourselves in a challenging environment. Now, the definition is specifically an experience which an individual believes themselves to be a fraud despite overwhelming evidence that they are not.

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The imposter phenomenon is not someone openly admitting to a colleague that they are faking it till they make it. That's not it at all. This phenomenon is also compounded by the Dunning Kruger effect. There's an encourager effect is a cognitive bias in which people kind of wrongly and overestimate then knowledge or ability in a specific area. This tends to occur because of it, the lack of self awareness that prevents them from accurately assessing their own skills. Now, the evidence in many cultures is that smart people kind of Intuit this effect. Even if they don't know the actual name of this psychological phenomenon, therefore systematically, they under estimate their abilities and less, shall we say cognitively endowed or self-aware individuals tend to overestimate and thus be more susceptible to the Dunning Kruger effect. I'm sure we've all met a few people like that. That fit that bill.

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So why is the imposter phenomenon so difficult to overcome? The doctors looked and observed at least four different types of behaviors, which tend to maintain the imposter phenomenon. Once the posture of being an intellectual phony has been assumed. Now this is from their paper. So number one, the first behavior involves diligence and hard work. The fear that my stupidity will be is constantly present. Consequently, the people studied or worked very hard to prevent that discovery hard work and study paid off in excellent performance approval from authorities I'm in the cycle, went that they would worry about their intelligence that would then go on to hard work and strategies that would then lead on to good grades or performance, which would then follow on to approval or temporary good feelings that is reinforcing. The people felt elated temporarily and as such the feelings of success make the cycle very hard to give up.

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They develop an unstated, but vaguely aware belief that if they were to think that they could succeed, they would actually fail. Their belief takes on the quality of a magic ritual, which will guarantee at least an overt success. However, the success is an empty one and the good feelings are short lived because the underlying sense of phoniness remains untouched. So a second motor behavior centers on a sense of phoniness, which is based in part in reality, many of their clients engaged in intellectual inauthenticity in one way or another. Well, they chose at times not to reveal their real ideas or opinions. Instead they have accurately cycled doubt their professors, supervisors, bosses, colleagues, and given them what they most wanted to hear. They participated in. What's kind of known as intellectual flattery. An example they cite is where a student might know to professor's biases and be sure to cite numerous studies, which would support those biases on an exam question or in a paper that they're writing, even though they didn't personally hold those views actually held different views.

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And in writing a grant proposal for an educational program, one of their clients in which they studied included her siblings as ideas and downplayed her own and more subtle example is one in which they found a person who remained silent in the face of an opposing viewpoint. Consequently, they left with the impression that if I, I had revealed what I really think and really believe I might not have done well, I might've been considered unintelligent. So this type of avoidance prevents people from discovering whether or not their authentic views would have been evaluated as sensible and thus contributes to the maintenance of the imposter phenomenon three. Okay. Another kind of behavior that has to do with using Charmin perceptiveness to win the approval of superiors is for those that use charm in this way, the aim is to be liked as well as to be recognized as intellectually special.

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Typically they believe that I am stupid. I don't know, not the level. They actually believe that they're brilliant, creative and special. If only the right person would discover their genius and thereby help them to believe in their intellect in the first place. So with this type, there's a couple of extra reinforcing behaviors that maintain this kind of belief system. Firstly, that even when a mentor does a claim them as intellectually superior creative or special, they don't believe them primarily. They believe that the mentor is basing his or her opinion primarily on their other attributes. The current candidate is discounted as a mentor, as unable to judge them accurately. So they begin to search for another mentor. We'll repeat the same self-defeating process all over again. The second reinforcing behavior would be that the person continues to believe that they were really bright. They wouldn't need outside approval, that they should have all the internal based confidence that they need in their own abilities.

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Thus efforts to gain approval, give proof that they really are intellectually phony. I mean, after all people who are geniuses or innovators in their fields managed to be productive and creative, despite lack of support from others, they certainly would not resort to adaptive or plicating behaviors. Validation, therefore to engage in such phony is to like integrity in their eyes. So with the fourth type, uh, just a little caveat, I think the year 1978, that this was produced probably has a little to do with their thought process around this. I think that certainly it's gone wider in the 21st century, but this fourth type of impulses phenomenon, maybe further maintain in response to negative consequences that are likely to before women in our society who display confidence in their ability. As I said, a ridiculous notion in the 21st century, but there is some evidence that in certain male-dominated cultures, within companies, this can still occur.

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So as long as she maintains the notion that she is not pride, she mentions that she can avoid social rejection just to expand on this point a little bit more, this is more of a power dynamic. So men and women can equally experience this type of imposter syndrome. Here's hoping that as we get better at creating a more cohesive and better working company cultures, this type of imposter syndrome gets stamped out completely. So wildly imposter syndrome shows up consistently now across all genders and ages. It's exacerbated by workplaces that thrive on competition and comparison. Those ones that are doggy dog culture and a marked by poor communication and unclear expectations, lack of diversity and mentorship, which can reinforce a sense of isolation or otherness psychologist, Ellen Hendrickson put it that the imposter syndrome isn't the same as a lack of confidence. You definitely have confidence. Why? Because you need some confidence to be able to daydream about all those cool creative ventures that you want to do.

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How can it affect your life? Well, I can see is everything that I'm doing wrong. That is a sham and a fraud, Don Cheadle, actor, director, author, and producer. So on the more serious scale imposter phenomenon do not fall into one diagnostic category. The clinical symptoms most frequently reported a generalized anxiety, lack of self confidence, depression, frustration related to the inability to meet impose standards of achievement. However, most of us are not at such a great and therefore need more general advice on how to get on with it rather than therapeutic interventions. So what are some of the common signs of imposter syndrome? So these would be say overworking to ensure nothing at all is dropped or miss leaving no room for potential criticism, constantly battling anxiety over being compared to others, purposefully staying out of the spotlight and reaching only for safe successes rather than continually to seek new challenges within business.

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There are several contributing factors that help either maintain the imposter syndrome, or certainly may exacerbate it in an individual's minds. Two of the main ones are the fear of not being good enough, not living up to expectations within the company or the fear that you will be abandoned by the tribe. The company will let you go or just shut you out from discussions, et cetera. So a few other factors may exacerbate or maintain. So these would be something like working slower. So while you may be able to achieve similar outcomes in your work and quality of the projects that you deliver, you may take a little bit longer due to your personal style or work process. And this could create a experience of being an imposter when you compare yourself to your peers, lower self esteem. So having low self esteem, which can be associated with anxiety and depression will increase your chances that you don't deserve the recognition or rewards that come your way, a high need for achievement that drive that super drive that you have as well as chronic perfectionism that can lead to unrealistic expectations of yourself.

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It seems like nothing is ever good enough. Sometimes it could be internalizing uncertainty. So what that means is look, all businesses face uncertainty, especially around this time we live in the current reverse discomfort with not having enough predictability or knowledge around the future or your organization can be encountered as an imposter experience. So as a result, people may experience the following characteristics of the syndrome. And as I go through the list, have a think about whether any of these ring true for you at any point in time. So these would be something like unable to internalize in accomplishments. So feeling that the status or accomplishments that are not kind of deserve or truly earned fear of being found out, feeling isolated, feeling like you might be less intelligent or capable than those around you and unable to enjoy the success or feeling confident and at ease.

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I mean, as you can see, none of these feelings are very useful and more specifically, it may manifest itself in the workplace as second guessing your decisions, a reluctance to ask for help, avoiding feedback overworking to the point of burnout, just to prove you're enough failing to start or finish projects, a fear of being found out or being exposed as inexperienced or untalented or an inability to internalize achievements and kind of downplaying accomplishments. Does any of these ring true for you? So the crux of the matter is the imposter syndrome can have far reaching consequences for your organization. Look when high potential individuals, high performing individuals hold back out of fear, it can limit your leadership pipeline or worse even produce underperforming teams, Tom Hanks, discussing doubting his own abilities. When he described his imposter fears as a high wire act, that we will walk an interesting article by the heading of the five personality traits of people battling imposter syndrome by Michael NASA, he sets out five fun descriptors of the imposter syndrome, which while generally not clinically accurate to make it a little easier to type yourself generally.

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So this is how he describes them. Number one is the perfectionist. Everything must be 100% perfect. The thought of delegation brings on nausea from requirements placed on relationships to set unrealistic professional goals self-doubt is served hot and the moment something appears to be a success. Being a perfectionist can bleed into all areas of life. And it's important to set boundaries and to know when things can be imperfect and still acceptable. Number two, the superhero. So the origin story of the workaholic, the extreme feeling of being a phony pushes for more proving of one's worth. So do you enjoy validation from doing work and not the work itself? Do you dislike downtime and view any kind of relaxation as wasted time? This is the story of the superhero, the one who works longer hours than everyone and is never satisfied. Well, there is nothing wrong with pushing yourself to improve. That must be a finish line.

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Number three, the natural. So he, we find a close friend of the perfectionist only. It's not about reaching 100%, but reaching that on the first try naturals have experienced or feel the need to exhibit hitting the nail on the first, try the obsession with meeting this goal creates a vivid case of imposter syndrome, where you a straight a student at school, did you experience teachers and parents uploading your success? This is not a horrible way to grow up, of course, but it sets a standard that has never addressed the need to avoid the feeling of shame can hold you back from trying something new, something that a paid Ephalus once, but it doesn't mean that anything short of that is a failure. And before the soloist fiercely independent, similar to the case of feeling like a natural, it feels impossible to delegate or ask for anyone's help.

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On the surface. You may tell yourself independence is strength. That is true, but only when it doesn't impact your mental wellbeing or the quality of your work, knowing when to accept, help or delegate work is a strength, not a failure. And lastly, number five, the expert there's always more to learn, but enough is never enough. That is where this personally type wants to live. This type of imposter syndrome feeds off the fear of being seen as inexperienced. It's like filling a broken bucket of water. Are you constantly seeking knowledge and training, but never feeling like it's enough. Your legitimacy can feel like it's based on how much you can do or how much, you know, so have you identified yourself yet or are there still more fun categories to add before who can benefit? I always feel like something of an impostor. I don't know what I'm doing.

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I suppose that's my one little secret. The secret of my success. Jodie foster, two time Academy award winning actress given that's such a high proportion of people can suffer such a phenomenon. I think it's safe to say that it's wide, whether you are a business leader and employee giving your first public speech to your board, your department and outside group, friends, clubs, et cetera, you may feel that the cloak of being an imposter may creep up on you. If you've ever had thoughts or vocalized the impostor. It probably sounds a little bit like this. I'm a fake, I'm going to be found out. I lucked out if I can do it. Anyone can, I had a lot of help. I had connections that just being nice failure is not an option. I'm pretty sure or kind of think I made it up as I went along well. It's implications in the workplace are evident. The imposter syndrome starts outside as described earlier and can bleed over to all other aspects of your daily life. So let the fight back, begin

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Number five,

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Tips and tricks to help manage the imposter syndrome. There are still days where I wake up feeling like a fraud, not sure that I should be where I am. Sheryl Sandberg, COO of Facebook, fortunes 10th, most powerful woman in business in 2014 and Forbes ninth, most powerful woman in 2014, before I delve into the meaty goodness of tips and tricks that most people, organizations or leaders can use. Let me start off by quickly, but by no means comprehensively going through some tips and tricks when it becomes maladaptive and crosses into the need for therapeutic intervention. So as you'll hear, these can also be used in a more general way by everyone else. So if this sounds more like you, a psychological professional should be helping you in guiding you through some of these items as much detail and preparation. As I put into my pod to be helpful, this is no substitute for proper therapy, if it becomes debilitating.

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So these therapy tips come from the initial research paper by Clanton names, evidence of the imposter phenomenon has typically emerged after the individual has been in a group or individual psychotherapy for several sessions. It's really stated as the presenting problem, since it's a well guarded secret, which is not shared immediately, the impostor is so convinced that their belief is correct, that nothing could be done to change it. Anyway. They also believe that if they revealed their assume unique feelings of phoniness, they would be met with criticism or at very least very little understanding on the part of others. It is generally their anxiety about achieving a particular goal, which leads them to disclose feelings of intellectual phoniness and multimodal therapy in which several therapeutic approaches are used. Concurrently seems the most effective in altering the imposter belief in a client, a group therapy setting or an interactional group in which there, there are some other high achieving people experienced.

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This phenomenon is highly recommended. If one person is willing to share their secret, others are able to share theirs. They are not astonished and relieved to find that they are not alone. And remember folks, this can also be used generally with your friends or trusted colleagues too, on a more general level. So in a group setting the ways in which an individual negates positive feedback and maintains their belief system emerge in clear relief and can be brought to the attention of that person when they are able to succeed without self-doubting beforehand, then they have made a major breakthrough in undoing the ritual of predicting failure. So one effective gestalt experiment. Now these are ones that allow clients to fully explore and experience existing behavior, or to try out alternative behavior and to see what new possibilities emerge, given that different choice strategy actions and the resulting outcomes from such choices emerge.

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An example is to have the person recall all the people that they think that they have fought to tell them in fantasy, how they conned or trick them and to have them imagine out loud how each person would respond to them. So this would go something like this. I did not want to give you an award in English because you charmed me. I did not like you as a person, but I honored you for your outstanding work or I'm angry that you think I'm so stupid that I can't judge competence when I see it, or I don't like your negating me and my opinions. So at the core of gestalt therapy is a holistic view that people are intricately linked to and influenced by the environment. And all the people strive towards growth and balance. A helpful homework assignment is to have the person keep a record journaling effectively of positive feedback that they receive about their competence and that how that keeps themselves from accepting this feedback.

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So after they become aware of how they did high compliments, that then they're instructed to experiment with doing the opposite, to listen, to take the positive responses and get as much nourishment as possible out of them for a person who uses charm or intellectual flattery to gain approval from authority figures, much time is spent on increasing awareness of those times when they're being phony, when they do or say something that they don't want to do in the hope of gaining approval, they're encouraged to risk being themselves and seeing what happens. Usually the catastrophic expectations to not occur also by eliminating the approval, getting behaviors, the person can begin to accept compliments from others regarding their intelligence as being real and can internalize the external reinforcement that they do receive. These people are also encouraged to seek out other people, something we can all do, who will support them in their struggle to be authentic and not to depend on those who would be threatened by their abilities and achievements as a result of a combination of such therapeutic interventions in conjunction with a commitment to change, which is very important, a high achieving person who has previously considered themselves an imposter begins to allow themselves to see and state and feel that I am intelligent.

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I have learned and achieved a tremendous amount. It is all right for me to believe in my own intellectual abilities and strengths, they begin to be free of the burden of believing that they are a phony and they can more fully participate in the Joyce zest and power of their accomplishments. So hopefully just going through a few of those therapeutic procedures, it gives you a little insight into some of the help that can be gained and experience through therapy. And you can also recognize that there are some things that we can take into a more general setting. So let's get onto talking about more generally what it is that we can do if you experience the imposter syndrome. The biggest step usually is to recognize it and address it in the moment as Socrates put it so perfectly. The unexamined life is not worth living.

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His Socratic method. A tool for debate can be used on yourself to examine and probe your own beliefs. So the Socratic method is named after the Greek philosopher, Socrates who taught students that by asking question after question, you could get closer to the truth. So can I sought to expose contradictions in the students' thoughts and ideas, and then guide them to solid tenable conclusions? So give it a go and you'll be amazed how some of the negative self thoughts don't stand up to scrutiny at all. Thin gossamer threads of thought, waiting for the simplest challenge to blow them away. So let's start questioning. So firstly, why don't we start looking for contrary evidence, recognize your achievements, understand the nature of problem solving, acknowledge that uncertainty is normal in the course of any human endeavor. And it should not be seen as some sort of personal failure when you can't create more certainty in an uncertain world plans inevitably about fail.

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However, it's what we do afterwards. And in response to that, that determines the course of a success. Therefore, keep a brag file. Not only is this file going to be uplifting, but more importantly, it helps rewire your brain negative bias. And that tendency that comes with us all to focus only on your weaknesses. Plus when it comes time for performance reviews, Hey, you know what? You have a file that's invaluable that shows and correlates all your successes. Now try not to let yourself have double standards, let yourself be the kickass that you are and give yourself a moment to celebrate. So, as we attempt to plot the courses of all our projects, um, real life is almost constantly changing projects. Change directions, deadlines are missed. This is normal. And our job is to make adjustments along the way. So let's top talked a little bit of the U S Marines motto, which is improvise, adapt, and overcome.

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So another thing to try is, well, let's just talk about it. It's a major part of therapeutic release as mentioned previously. And it turns out that talking about the imposter syndrome is one of the most effective ways to treat it feelings and fears can get normalized and lose them power. When we throw them out into the ether, that's why Google encourages bosses to talk about the imposter syndrome with their teams. It doesn't have to limit your success. Talking about it can help manage the anxiety that accompanies it. You should realize that trust that it's not permanent, it can help to view that the imposter syndrome is a situation it's not permanent. It's mutable, it's changeable, it's transitory. So when those feelings come up and that can be viewed as a sign that you're doing something hard, something worthy viewed this way, imposter feelings might be a sign that you are actually on the right track.

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You may even come to welcome these feelings as part of a healthy risk taking model in your life and positive growth. You need to stop focusing on your value while struggling with these fees. You should also try and focus on the value that you bring to a company, to an organization, to a relationship rather than comparing yourself to others or to some mythical perfect standard. As mentioned several times in my passport look, we often take credit for our failures. We love to swim in those negative waters and just under and let them wash over us. But we also need to take credit for our successes to acknowledge and celebrate what you bring, not whether you've reached that sort of mythical perfection level or might favorably compare to some other person I'm looked at. You don't have to let doubt dictate your choices. If these fears invade your thoughts and you can recognize and make peace that these are natural common feelings, as you continue to take on new challenges, it will be easier to incorporate them into your life and not be so worried about them.

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It's time to acknowledge the reality of these feelings. It is completely normal to feel like you're not the right person for a job or project or relationship. There's really nothing to be ashamed of everyone. And I mean, everyone has these feelings, even though is at the top of the field. Hopefully some of those quotes have kind of focus your mind in the fact that we're all a little bit challenged when it comes to the imposter syndrome. Therefore there is nothing to be ashamed of. And another thing to keep in mind is to truly examine your motives. So are you working for attention or to make a genuine impact, try and focus on the letter, bringing it back to a personal level. I sometimes think, why am I doing this podcast? Is it to stoke my ego? Is it to a claim that I am something that I'm not?

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Or is it something that I'm putting out into the world that may help just one person? And so I try and focus on the latter part. Yeah. That, that motivates and pushes me to keep going. I think it's important to keep yourself humble and see yourself always as a student when you're creating or leading acknowledged that you just don't know everything and always be wary of people to think they do. And that you're here to learn, keep a Socratic mindset, that questioning mindset to ask questions upon questions. Because if you do, you will take on this mindset that will allow the imposter syndrome, just not to be able to survive in your head because it's just has nothing to grab onto. You're not trying to fake a sort of persona or maintain a certain image. Instead you're motivated by curiosity. It's all one big experiment and opportunity to learn because in the end, that's, that's all life is a somewhat short journey in which that we accrue as much knowledge to make us kind of wiser happy.

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The next tip is, is to meditate. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I know. Stop throwing things at me. This is now on every list I get it, but it's because it works. There are so many reasons to meditate. I mean, longevity is one of them. Meditation can also help with fear, anxiety, and confidence, and some of the other issues that we mentioned. So seriously, get over your judgements of meditation. Being that we were thing. Just do it. There's just too much science out there that show that it's good for you. Now find an app works for you or a website or some sort of practice. Look, it need to be hours and hours on end. Maybe just do five, 10, 15 minutes in some of the downtimes. And look, don't tell me that you don't have five minutes to spare and you'll see the benefits. Certainly after a couple of weeks, you'll start to see there's, there's a difference.

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Now my favorite app is space, but find one that works for you. So one thing that always works well, whether in therapy or just in the general public, is to make a couple of lists. And this list I suggest would be a list of what ifs. So as of today, I'm going to throw out a challenge to you that you and I only get one of those. What if's a day, that's it. So use it wisely because I can't go through the rest of the day. Wondering about all that possible things that could go wrong. You know why? Because there are absolutely millions and millions of things that can and will go right today and you should celebrate that. So will this imposter syndrome stop simply because you stop asking, what if questions set goals, find them mental, believe the praise, Hey, no, it won't not right away, but the more you practice these techniques like anything, practice, man, perfect.

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The closer you are going to be to shutting out the noise of that looming impostor. So let me give you some quick hacks. So let's learn to outsmart our fears. So how are we going to do that? Well, one, one silly way, but it does work is standing there. The hero pose. Before you go into a big meeting or a big presentation practice stepping confidently, her head held high shoulders back. It's amazing how your body can sometimes trick your mind into thinking what it wants to think and visualize it all in your head. Basically, picture yourself winning or giving a fantastic presentation. You know, the reason why all those Olympic athletes visualize their entire race before they even step on the track. It's because it works where your mind goes, your body follows and how your body feels. So goes your mind. So another hack is to keep it a name, pick something really silly and lighthearted so that you can start regarding that inner critic that monkey mind as something that lacks credibility, remember in a critic that is creating this whole scenario about you being an imposter.

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So doing so helps put that critic into perspective and take away, takes away some of its power look acknowledge that it's there without necessarily having to buy into what it's saying or letting it order you around. So in a similar vein, start playing with your thoughts, change the medium sing dance, rap, draw, silly suggestions out, maybe put a justice hat on that little monkey. And this way, what you're doing is you're removing some of the visual power that you're giving to those ideas. This will allow you to then reassess it in a clearer way. Light, which thing kind of allows you to look at alternatives, not just to see that whatever it's saying is an authoritative suggestion. That should be actually acted upon a often used technique in psychology is to use a rubber band or an elastic band or hair band to be used as a negative reinforcement.

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When your thoughts start to drift into thinking you're bad, you're an impostor, et cetera. And it allows you to literally and figuratively snap back your thinking. So as it starts to drift snapback, you're thinking another hack and one that we all probably intuitively know about is create a playlist of really upbeat and uplifting music. That's going to spur you on. So whenever you're feeling like you're in a little bit of a funk check on your favorite playlist, your favorite tune and crank it up and let's get back to work. Something that really helps, but it's not always intuitive is giving someone else a compliment. It helps to break the pattern of thinking. And it brings you back to reality about thinking of someone else beyond yourself, that theory of mind, try it out and see how it works in defeating your impostor. So think about drafting some power statements, put them down on little sticky notes, put them our annual desk, and you'll be amazed at how much they can uplift your spirits and break you out of again, of some of the thoughts of you being an impostor.

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These statements would go something like you can handle this or a person's reaction is a reflection of them. Not me now. Remember power statements are not the same as positive affirmations. These are sometimes overly positive and sometimes Pollyannish, but these power statements are more grounded. In reality, the last hack comes from improv. So always end with and so improve your techniques, say yes. And so that means your listening to others' ideas. And you can agree with the premise and then contribute additional thoughts. So this is an example of how it would apply to your own self-talk. So let's say that your inner critic is telling you something like, Oh, look, I, I never do anything. Right? So instead of trying to fight the thought, acknowledge it because there may be some truth to it. However, more importantly, focus on what other facts also might be true. For example, yes, I may have made a mistake and I can learn from it to make changes. Next time,

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If we move on to what organizations and businesses can do, let's look at some techniques and suggestions that can help organizations. And then we'll go down to leaders themselves on how they can help. Not only their organization reduce the amount of imposter syndrome that may be prevalent, but also to foster better teams. The more, you know, the more you don't know Aristotle. So what can an organization do? The burden to resolve the experience is often placed on the employee rather than the organization. However, a toxic or ineffective work culture can be a large driver in creating the imposter phenomenon in its employees. So a person may think within that organization, look, if only they worked a little bit harder, a little bit more crude, Mo more time on the job, then they would feel less uneasy, less self doubt, more confidence over time. That's, let's talk some hard truths.

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It there, there's not really a solution to the impulsive phenomenon in attempting to strive for success in spite of it. But the idea is to eliminate that experience by addressing the conditions that lead to it. So steps that an organization can taking may include support for diversity of ideas and inclusion value the input of everyone in the room, encourage employees to ask questions very clearly communicate that your culture, your strategies, and the process that's involved within delivering any projects and create a culture of honesty and transparency. Let's delve a little deeper. So one thing that an organization can do is to foster an environment, a culture of psychological safety when ending the silence around the posture syndrome, that obviously starts with you. However, having open discussions about how self Delt accompany success, this helps normalize the fact that these fees come with taking risks, innovating and creating that psychological safety that we're talking about.

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Mike McDermott, CEO of FreshBooks points out that strong leaders use imposter syndrome as a competitive advantage. A quote from him goes that admitting that you don't have all the answers, doesn't make you a fraud on country. It helps you to find and solve problems more efficiently, creatively, and collaboratively. So another good way that an organization can help is to recognize people's accomplishments. So instead of praising a team member's intelligence or talent, what has been shown by research psychologist, Carol Dweck is that present effort, instead of focusing solely on achievement is the best way to stoke a strong sense of self esteem. Her book mindset on how you can fulfill your potential is a must read. And this obviously helps keep that imposter from kind of creeping in. So celebrate within your team incremental progress, not just the end goal that keeps morale high, and it keeps people internalizing their own success.

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I like to have each of my team members keep their own brag file. We mentioned this previously, and this is the document that keeps a log of their wins at work, no matter how big or small this thin means that very concretely, you can look back on your accomplishment with a healthy sense of pride, rather than diminishing them as a results of luck or connections. And again, not only for the team in general, but even on a personal level, you can use this to help you prepare for your performance reviews that will come up and so that you can feel that you've got ownership of the things that you've done within your work. So organizations need to show more effectively what good work practice looks like. The imposter syndrome, as I mentioned earlier, is associated with behaviors like perfectionism and overworking. It's great to have high standards and to be detailed orientated, but no one wins when, uh, you or your team members burnout.

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So the most effective leaders understand that I could, mental and physical health are key to performance and they empower their teams to tend to their wellbeing as well. So employees need to feel that they're valued as whole people with unique talents and goals, which is why empathy is a prime attribute of successful leaders. Teams thrive when individuals feel understood and validated and connected to one another. This holistic perspective has been shown to drive innovation, employee engagement and the bottom line that's business results, but also the psychological resources that sustain high performance leaders over time. So as an organization, let's try and move away from all this all work and no play paradigm by modeling effective stress management. And self-compassion. So instead of planning back to back meetings, for example, build in breaks so that everyone has time to decompress has time to understand what they've just understood to be the next mission to take forward, take vacations, this idea that these workaholics, that brag, that they never take a vacation, good luck to you.

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These individuals are fooling themselves. There are people who give essentially 70% effectiveness in their work rather than 100%. And the reason why is because they're burnt out, they are exhausted. Think about this scenario. Do you think Michael Phelps swam the English channel before competing in the pool and winning all those goals or that bolt ran a five K before he started to do a 100 meter race? No, they were smart with their efforts and where they put their energy. As you might hear from my voice, this is a real bugbear for me because the research is well and truly in. And some of these organizations that still maintain this type of culture are running a management playbook from the 1820s, not from 2020. So there's machismo culture that you just need to plow on is nonsense. And it's born out by the science and the data.

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So just stop it. Let's get back to having great teams that work collaboratively and smartly with healthy breaks to recharge the batteries and then come back strong at 100% and then hit it out of the park, acknowledge that you can't do it all. And that's okay. Delegate more. Instead of being that rugged individualists that goes alone, what you'll find is a result will follow another great tip is to use feedback loops for development. This can really help an organization, unearth opportunities for learning and development and grow in an orientated way rather than more haphazardly. This will also allow your teams to understand the expectations that the organization is putting onto them and helps reduce unnecessary self-doubt among your employees. So therefore look, support your team in taking an inventory of their strengths, perhaps with the assistance of a coach who can help leverage their strengths fully.

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This can help them pull out attributes that make a person shine in their work and support them in taking consistent action to develop habits that help them succeed to their full potential. And that will also translate into team success. The vinyl tip for organizations is to create and make sure that there's a culture of inclusion. Let's create a space for people to feel comfortable about speaking up without fear of being attacked is incompetent fostering a climate of inclusions by it starts by setting out very clear communication ground rules. So that includes no interruptions, acknowledging not only mistakes, but also the wins and opportunities that are to be developed and giving everyone equal time to speak with some effort. It is possible to keep the imposter syndrome from hurting those high potential individuals, self confidence, especially if you take charge to lead from a place of vulnerability and model resistance feelings of not deserving correlate with lower levels of a neurotransmitter serotonin, which relates to mood and lower levels of dopamine, which are connected to reward and motivation.

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An interesting fact is that it matter whether you're a male or female, the lower your confidence, the lower your testosterone levels, meaning that you're less likely to take healthy risks like going for a promotion. So overall thinking in this way, this imposter syndrome, you're signing up for an unpleasant chemical cocktail of fear, shame, and uncertainty and mistrust that leads to self sabotage. So become more aware of the reflex of self doubt. It sometimes sounds something like this. There are plenty of other people who deserve it more. I'm not really up to this challenge. Look to demote its significance. Think of it as psychological noise, white noise. That's in the background. You don't really need to listen to the game changer of this is taking action in spite of self doubt. So remember the definition of courage is not doing something because you have no fear, but doing it in spite of fear. So repeatedly doing something that makes you uncomfortable will change the way that you think of a time in short. There's no substitute for action. Don't let the imposter syndrome keep you stuck. I'm always looking over my shoulder. Wondering if I measure up, this is Sonia Sotomayer U S Supreme court justice.

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I want to end with a few tips and tricks for leaderships and leaders. We've gone over individual help and tips and tricks things that organizations can do, but specifically leaders within an organization, I believe that what leaders do specifically can really counteract the imposter syndrome, not only for their teams, but when you are in that position, in how to combat feeling that you really belong in those shoes. So the first one is demonstrate some vulnerability. Vulnerability is a beneficial and very underrated leadership trait leaders who admit their weaknesses or gaps in their knowledge achieve two things. It allows people to see that everyone is flawed and it builds trust because it's relatable. When your staff see that everyone, including the senior leadership has weaknesses, they're more likely to feel safe and included in the work culture. Another benefit you can identify gaps. We all have gaps in our knowledge, in our competence, in our proficiency, in any one task or another, but this creates an opening for other members to step in and solve problems.

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This will then help an organization make progress and work and avoid risks associated with blind spots. So finding in an environment where honesty and vulnerability are discouraged for fear of being seen as weakness, employees will hold all these uncertainties close to their chest, rather than verbalizing them. This will then start to build up and toxify the organization. So without conferring with coworkers and individual may think that they're the only person who feels uncertain about the vision the company is taking. Hence that little imposter comes along and starts whispering in their ear. A few questions that leaders may have rolling around in their heads is one of them would be feeling like a fraud because you don't have all the answers. Well, I can tell you from experience and also from meeting, a lot of them leaders often find themselves in situations where they've never encountered that situation before.

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So even if they don't have the necessary skill to arrive at a solution, they may find themselves stumped when they don't have an easy answer at the ready. So what do they do about it? Well, they think about it in terms of problems, not solutions, which is sometimes the antithesis of what's usually thrown out there, give me the solutions, not the problems. And that's when faced with unfair issues or problems at work, spend more time articulating what those problems are. Just enumerating solutions before you're clear on the problem leads to poor results. That's that rushing in to try and fix what you think is the problem, but it's not actually the problem at all. Not to mention immediately trying to find a solution can be overwhelming and intimidating, especially when there's self doubt. And that inadequacy starts to creep in some of these questions may take the form of how do we get here?

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So why is the current solution not working and what are the characteristics of a good solution to this problem? If you start to work your way through some of these questions, you'll get a good grasp of the situation and be better able to equip and recognize what the right solution path may be. Also, there's some additional benefits on focusing on a problem definition instead of just jumping straight into a solution is you can involve others in defining the problem. So you don't feel alone in trying to solve it. You and your team will be clear on the problem then that you want solved. You can uncover and address the root causes of the issue. And when you do something like those blue sky or brainstorming solutions, you can collaboratively come together and create buying for the implementation of the solution. And if you don't have an immediate solution, well, it doesn't matter.

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Don't worry about it. Trust that you can lead your team towards that solution. If you think first in problems, another question or thought that seems to pop into a lot of leaders heads is that you begin to doubt your own ability. You start really second guessing that decision you made. Did I incorporate everyone did ever was, is it the right solution for what was actually asked on the project? And then you start to receive praise, but you start to believe, well, Hey, is that unwarranted, mistrusting yourself? And even the person that's giving you some praise is one of the most common feelings caused by the imposter syndrome as outlined previously. So what's the solution. Well, it comes in the form of placing trust in others and building up that team spirit. Well, the outcome of the imposter syndrome is really kind of mistrusting yourself. That same mistrust can make you more humble.

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A feeling that I think is worth embracing humility is an important and often overlooked leadership quality humble leaders tend to be more open to other's opinions and more willing to admit mistakes. A leader who has all the answers doesn't leave room for anyone else. And that can leave people feeling that their opinions don't matter. In contrast, have a look at great leaders. They're receptive to input from others and from a wide berth of opinions, they're transparent about their mistakes and that helps others learn from them and builds trust among your team. So when in doubt ask, I don't know. What do you think? So the final question I'll leave you with is when leaders start to think that maybe these feelings of self doubt are proven to be true, maybe it may be, they are an imposter. So w if you're living with these feelings of being such a fraud, the chances are, is that your fear that people will discover that you don't know what the hell you're doing is high up on your list.

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One thing to do is to acknowledge that you are an imposter and get over the fear of making mistakes, because the fact is there are probably times when you are being an impostor, because there are many things that you will do for the first time, but there's no better way to learn than wrestling with a new problem. Learning is never something that you should expect to be done with. You're always going to be continually to grow and develop, and you should try to embrace that fact. Yes, sometimes you are going to be an imposter and you'll definitely end up making mistakes. We have all, all of us had to learn on the job and that at age, that mistakes are teachers in disguise. When the answer isn't clear and it's not really coming to, the only thing to do is to give it your best guess and kind of do a, a B test test that guests for a reliable amount of time, gather information and use that to inform your next best. Guess these mistakes and guesses create a feedback loop in which information is always evolving. And knowledge has grown embrace the uncertainty, dive into that pool, swim in it and understand that nothing ever was created. When you knew everything about everything. It was always pushing the boundaries that we sought, new knowledge, new understanding, and new horizons.

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The takeaway, the exaggerated to steam in which my life is held makes me very ilities. I feel compelled to think of myself as an involuntary swindler, Albert Einstein. So folks, the takeaway is keep at it. Experience helps find, learn, and search for more tips and tricks to help you. Hopefully I have added to that list. Getting over the imposter syndrome is definitely a journey. It is one of those ones where you put one step in front of another. And so hopefully today is the first step of which that you can try and overcome part of that imposter syndrome, but who knows what tomorrow brings. So it's not solved overnight, as we know, but remember that you're not broken or afflicted by some sort of disease. This is part of the process of growing up and recognizing the world around you. One last thing I'll leave you with is the imposter syndrome is actually an opportunity in disguise.

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I'm not trying to convince you that you should enjoy these feelings. Certainly I didn't enjoy them. And I'm sure you won't, it's not an enjoyable experience, but if you're committed to grow yourself and your career, you need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. You need to commit to stretching beyond the repeated things that you've already done with great success along the way. You'll experience a lot of self doubt. That's for sure, but learn to read this as a sign that you're pushing yourself in ways that can deliver really great payoffs. Trust me, this is the mindset that separates good leaders from great ones. That's all folks. That was a longer one. So I hope this has been of some benefit. I look forward to your opinions. So I pine away. This has been my opinion. What's yours. Thanks for listening. And I'll see you on the next episode.

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On the next episode of the opine motel podcast, I'm going to explore some of the generous questions that you've pinged over to me on how to be more assertive and confident in the workplace. So we're going to do a Q and a. This will be episode 3.1. Or if you prefer episode six, good listeners in a announcement of self-indulgence. Please. If you've found anything of value, please subscribe to my podcast on your favorite podcast, listening service, you can also visit my website, www.opine.network and brighter review. If the nature take you, if anything has affected you in a more serious way, I highly recommend my professionals in your area to explore and delve into making you live your best life. Be well. See you next time I look forward to your company then Thank you very much for listening. I'm LJ your host. This has been the opine motel podcast music credits go out to intro fluffy by Smith for Vista interlude sounds by Spheros. And to see us out happy life by prayer. Be well, everyone. See you soon.